Updated: Nov 30, 2021
When my personal coach told me in our first session she wanted me to do 20 minutes meditation every day, I scoffed. I was used to doing meditation fairly regularly - I'd even have gone so far as to say I was pretty good at it... but 20 minutes at a time... every day... she's got to be kidding, right?
Who has time for that (who can sit still for that long either)?!
But, I'd made the investment, I was walking my talk, I knew whatever she 'prescribed' would be for good reason & I wanted to put in the effort to get the results I was after.
I committed. I created a sacred space in my bedroom, with comfy cushions, candles & crystals. I smudged the space, I shut the door, I dedicated 20 minutes every morning, before I did anything else, to myself.
And boy did it work.
The lesson I was teaching my brain was that I come first. I am the most important thing in my world. My cup has to be filled before I can fill others... and most importantly - I am worthy.
Worthy of the effort, of the energy, of the space, the boundaries, the respect. My life is worth making the most of, worth enjoying, & as much as it's filled with others that I love, respect & cherish (& naturally want to put before myself), has to be mine above all else.
The things I noticed within 2 weeks of doing this every day shook me:
Instead of rushing around frantically, always feeling like I was late for something, I felt calm, in control & able to make quick decisions or re-prioritise when things didn't go to plan, rather than getting frustrated, annoyed at myself or upset that things weren't working out how I wanted to
Instead of being all up in my head about whether my boyfriend was being considerate enough, loving enough, if he still fancied me, what he meant by that grunt when I asked him to put something away... I was making the first move, being more affectionate TO him, asking him things outright (when they mattered) & letting it go when they didn't. I stopped questioning if we were OK because I knew we were, & if we ever weren't, I'd still be OK
Instead of checking my phone every moment I wasn't busy doing something, to engage with posts on social media, check my emails, see if I'd had any new sign-ups (basically wasting time looking busy)... I was enjoying being present, resting while the kettle boiled, noticing the birds singing in the garden - because I knew what I was doing while I WAS working was enough, & that I didn't need the validation of anyone else to tell me so (or the guilt from comparing myself telling me otherwise).
These are just 3 examples of how my thought patterns started to adapt when I was teaching my brain that just as I am, I am enough.
We see the memes, the inspirational quotes, the reminders everywhere - we save them, maybe we even pin them to our vision board. But unless we do something with them, we're not learning anything new.
Meditation isn't for everybody. Heck - 5 minutes of meditating might feel impossible! I'm a fan, but it's not the be-all-and-end-all method. The important message here is that taking that time for yourself is what starts to teach you what you need, & that fulfilling your needs is the basis for creating more confidence, fulfilment & success - whatever it is you want to achieve.
My morning routine now varies day-to-day, depending on how I'm feeling & what I need - sometimes it will be 10 minutes of yoga stretching, 10 minutes of self-massage with essential oils, then 10 minutes of meditation. Other days it will be a 5-minute meditation & a long shower. The point is, every day I'm taking SOME time for ME, first. Consistency over quantity is what gets results.
The results are more calm, more joy, more space to think, to make better choices, to appreciate what's good, to feel resilience to others' negativity, to follow my dreams & take feel-good action to get there.
When I create rituals, routines & practices for my 1:1 clients, we take a look at their personality type, tendencies, likes/dislikes, & what keeps them accountable to commitments, so that this time for themselves feels like something they can't wait to do, & they feel NO GUILT about doing it!
To find out more about working with me 1:1, so you can learn to put yourself first, overcome self-doubt & worry, and create more confidence, freedom & joy in your life, click here